Remember me? by Sophie Kinsella
A book I spotted and have been reading in bookstores such as Borders and Kino during those periods of waiting ever since last September. I seem to be attracted to memory/amnesia-related things, the best example being wang zi bian qing wa. These things just seem to call out to me.
About the book: Lexi Smart in 2004, who was characterised as a poor lady with snaggle teeth and frizzy hair and was a low profile employee in Deller Carpets, had a rough day at work when she was not given a bonus and was stood up by her boyfriend Loser Dave, tripped and lost consciousness that day. Only to wake up from a car accident in 2007 with a whole new look with a slender body, teeth done up nicely, and finding out that she's married to a gorgeous rich husband - basically having the perfect life one can ever imagine. But the past 3 years bring no memory back to her at all, and this books aptly describes how she attempts to fit back into her seemingly perfect life, only to discover that life may not be that fantastic after all. She realises that she has lost her best friends, her baby sister has changed dramatically from an innocent little girl to a rebellious teenager, and that she probably doesn't love her husband as much as she had expected to. The most shocking discovery would have to be that she was involved in a likely affair with her husband's architect, Jon.
This book is realistic in the sense that she doesn't entirely regain her memory despite her desperate attempts to squeeze something out of her head. Only till the last part she is able to retrieve one tiny memory/feeling, and that to me, is the sweetest thing of it all. I really enjoyed reading this book, it just kept me hooked to it as I craved to know how Lexi managed her new life, to the extent that that is the first book I hungrily open to read whenever I step into any bookstore.
It made me think...why do I like memory-related issues that much? Is it because of the possibility that losing your memory gives one a second shot at life? Or that losing one's memories can erase the pain and hurt that one has undergone? There are serious repercussions to it, such as having to learn and adapt to your past all over again and risking the chances that you might be cheated by evil people out there to take advantage of you. But sometimes I just wonder: How would it feel like to be given a second chance? Not that I hate my current life, but if a second opportunity in living my life again knocks on my door, I would grab it immediately. To have fewer regrets, to do things that I should have done back then, not to make those mistakes. But as they say, I would never learn if it weren't for those mistakes.
A Place Called Here by Cecelia Ahern
Sandy Shortt - a lady who probably has obsessive compulsive disorder of searching for missing things constantly. This disorder struck her since her neighbour/classmate from across the street disappeared when they were 10 years old. She racks her brain as to how things can go missing and not be found, and that they will eventually end up somewhere. Where that is - she spent her entire life running a missing persons agency dedicated to looking for that answer, encouraging family members and friends of the missing and giving them hope in the process. Things turn around for her as she realises that she has also gone missing, and that being missing has allowed her to discover things and feelings she had never imagined, and to finally find what she has been looking for.
This book could serve as a motivation for others in not losing hope in looking for things that one think can never be found. But the question to me is: Will I ever find what I've been looking for? Or is that the right thing to be searching for? Or do I even know what I am looking for or am I going around aimlessly in circles, not knowing my direction in life or where I'm headed for?
A whirlwind of emotions has been stirring within me these past few days.
I'm searching for a way, or a turn of events, to calm myself down.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
my last entry for 2008
Not that there were many entries to begin with..
Nevertheless, it's time for some reflection on 2008...
1. I am officially a graduate as of July 2008! slight pity that i missed convocation but i wouldn't miss no. 2 for the world =)
2. Work and Travel USA in Grand Canyon. That has got to be the best thing that ever happened to me this year. Or in my life so to speak. So many wonderful experiences and memories there that it has been making me want to go back again and again! Making new and lifelong friends and being able to interact with people from various countries and cultures was the most gainful thing out of it all. Not forgetting those unforgettable hikes that I think about almost everyday now that I'm back. Grand Canyon National Park, here I come!
And thank you Alice, for bearing with me throughout the 4 months there. July 09? *grin
3. FYP. I will never forget those nights where we stayed up to do our report (ok, kt and alice stayed up while i dozed off way before them haha). We would never have gotten that grade without you, so, thank you girls =) Miss those bak chor mee and teh bing bingeing!
4. Becoming more open-minded.
5. Learning to be more forgiving.
6. Learning to slow things down and enjoy life's precious moments - the present.
7. Realising that as time strives to heal all wounds, memories of events (good and bad) start to become a blur, and the stm me would probably not stop them from fading into the distance...
8. Finally having a goal in life: To visit all the national parks in the US! (Did I mention I am so totally in love with the States? especially nature in its beauty)
now, let me do my usual thing at the beginning of every year: RESOLUTIONS
whether i've accomplished those resolutions that i have made at the beginning of the 2008 is another question altogether. allow me to ponder...
a. I resolve to obtain my advanced dive license. Yes yes I've been putting it off for an entire year! Will do so once March arrives. Tentatively 13-15 March, ok marg? And also to go for more than 1 leisure dive trip (either to Redang or Similans)
b. Speaking of licenses, it's time to put my rusty driving license to good use! So I resolve to practise driving (in preparation for something greater!)
c. I resolve to gym at least twice a week (hopefully D2 and D3 will do the same!) and go for the weekly after-work jog.
d. I resolve/want to climb Mount Kinabalu, preferably in Feb 09.
e. I resolve/am desperate to return to US, preferably in May or July 09. Where we can fully maximise our leave hehe!
f. I resolve not to grind my teeth. Been doing a lot of that lately. I wonder why.
g. I resolve to keep my hair long and to stop snipping it off every now and then.
h. I resolve to do better in my time management.
i. I resolve not to sleep so much.
j. I resolve to get my US photo album up before I embark on my next trip there.
k. I resolve to start learning how to cook and bake. Looking forward to making my first cheesecake!
.
.
.
and the list just goes on...
well, I do hope some resolutions are kept and may 2009 be a year filled with pleasant surprises for me and for everyone else! Happy new year in advance! =)
Nevertheless, it's time for some reflection on 2008...
1. I am officially a graduate as of July 2008! slight pity that i missed convocation but i wouldn't miss no. 2 for the world =)
2. Work and Travel USA in Grand Canyon. That has got to be the best thing that ever happened to me this year. Or in my life so to speak. So many wonderful experiences and memories there that it has been making me want to go back again and again! Making new and lifelong friends and being able to interact with people from various countries and cultures was the most gainful thing out of it all. Not forgetting those unforgettable hikes that I think about almost everyday now that I'm back. Grand Canyon National Park, here I come!
And thank you Alice, for bearing with me throughout the 4 months there. July 09? *grin
3. FYP. I will never forget those nights where we stayed up to do our report (ok, kt and alice stayed up while i dozed off way before them haha). We would never have gotten that grade without you, so, thank you girls =) Miss those bak chor mee and teh bing bingeing!
4. Becoming more open-minded.
5. Learning to be more forgiving.
6. Learning to slow things down and enjoy life's precious moments - the present.
7. Realising that as time strives to heal all wounds, memories of events (good and bad) start to become a blur, and the stm me would probably not stop them from fading into the distance...
8. Finally having a goal in life: To visit all the national parks in the US! (Did I mention I am so totally in love with the States? especially nature in its beauty)
now, let me do my usual thing at the beginning of every year: RESOLUTIONS
whether i've accomplished those resolutions that i have made at the beginning of the 2008 is another question altogether. allow me to ponder...
a. I resolve to obtain my advanced dive license. Yes yes I've been putting it off for an entire year! Will do so once March arrives. Tentatively 13-15 March, ok marg? And also to go for more than 1 leisure dive trip (either to Redang or Similans)
b. Speaking of licenses, it's time to put my rusty driving license to good use! So I resolve to practise driving (in preparation for something greater!)
c. I resolve to gym at least twice a week (hopefully D2 and D3 will do the same!) and go for the weekly after-work jog.
d. I resolve/want to climb Mount Kinabalu, preferably in Feb 09.
e. I resolve/am desperate to return to US, preferably in May or July 09. Where we can fully maximise our leave hehe!
f. I resolve not to grind my teeth. Been doing a lot of that lately. I wonder why.
g. I resolve to keep my hair long and to stop snipping it off every now and then.
h. I resolve to do better in my time management.
i. I resolve not to sleep so much.
j. I resolve to get my US photo album up before I embark on my next trip there.
k. I resolve to start learning how to cook and bake. Looking forward to making my first cheesecake!
.
.
.
and the list just goes on...
well, I do hope some resolutions are kept and may 2009 be a year filled with pleasant surprises for me and for everyone else! Happy new year in advance! =)
Friday, November 21, 2008
random thoughts in the middle of the night
i will definitely not cross the boundary.
i will not be a hindrance nor pose a threat.
i have to lift my spirits and not let these matters bog me down.
there will be nothing more than meets the eye.
things will remain as they are.
i will not be a hindrance nor pose a threat.
i have to lift my spirits and not let these matters bog me down.
there will be nothing more than meets the eye.
things will remain as they are.
Friday, May 23, 2008
grand canyon part 1
a recap of our ongoings in the UNITED STATES!
1. in changi airport waiting area before boarding our first flight to taipei.
2. taking a picture at taipei airport before rushing off for the 11-hour flight to los angeles!
3. finally arrived in los angeles airport (LAX)! but kinda disappointing though..not as vibrant as we expected.
4. our very first meal in US! 2 HUGE pizza slices (don't be fooled by the picture)
5. spending our first night in phoenix sky harbour international airport (there's cold stone creamery and borders near us, but obviously at that time it was not opened yet)
part 2 coming up in a jiffy!
1. in changi airport waiting area before boarding our first flight to taipei.
2. taking a picture at taipei airport before rushing off for the 11-hour flight to los angeles!
3. finally arrived in los angeles airport (LAX)! but kinda disappointing though..not as vibrant as we expected.
4. our very first meal in US! 2 HUGE pizza slices (don't be fooled by the picture)
5. spending our first night in phoenix sky harbour international airport (there's cold stone creamery and borders near us, but obviously at that time it was not opened yet)
part 2 coming up in a jiffy!
Monday, May 5, 2008
finally in US! =)
supposed to feel excited that i'm actually typing in Phoenix airport using its free wireless...am quite excited when i got onto the window seat and saw the islands look smaller and the huge ocean miles below me.. yet when the fact dawned on me that what i expected really materialised, i was shocked even though i already expected it and was not supposed to. sorry sounding really incoherent now at 250am in the morning in a foreign land and also feeling rather horrible.
yes i'm touched that my family came to see me off and my dad even rented car to drive me to the airport, but seeing friends of my travel mates standing in a circle talking to them and presenting them with gifts while i head off to an eatery with my family really hit me real bad. i've told myself to be less pessimistic but this nagging feeling just refuses to go away, despite me trying not to think about it and focus on the true purpose of enjoying the trip itself. i am indeed appreciative of friends who did make the effort to meet up with me before my trip itself, but not seeing anyone there to send me off kinda sucks (no offence to marg, kt and april - u guys had your reasons =)) particularly disappointed in one group whom i thought i was rather close with..
anyway, didn't even get to have a second glance at taipei cos of the super short transit time! our flight was delayed therefore we couldn't get to grab any brochures or flyers whatsoever.. disapppointed in LAX (short for LA Intl Airport - don't ask me why there's an 'X' there) cos it looks even more rundown than changi airport and here in phoenix airport which is tons better! did NOT see any shops or restaurants, it was just terminals and more terminals..weather was rather chilly despite the sun.
current status: trying to while away our time in phoenix airport...may be suffering from jet lag cos it's already 3am here but it's 6pm singapore time..
ok till the next entry! (which will be when we safely reach grand canyon *prays REALLY hard*)
yes i'm touched that my family came to see me off and my dad even rented car to drive me to the airport, but seeing friends of my travel mates standing in a circle talking to them and presenting them with gifts while i head off to an eatery with my family really hit me real bad. i've told myself to be less pessimistic but this nagging feeling just refuses to go away, despite me trying not to think about it and focus on the true purpose of enjoying the trip itself. i am indeed appreciative of friends who did make the effort to meet up with me before my trip itself, but not seeing anyone there to send me off kinda sucks (no offence to marg, kt and april - u guys had your reasons =)) particularly disappointed in one group whom i thought i was rather close with..
anyway, didn't even get to have a second glance at taipei cos of the super short transit time! our flight was delayed therefore we couldn't get to grab any brochures or flyers whatsoever.. disapppointed in LAX (short for LA Intl Airport - don't ask me why there's an 'X' there) cos it looks even more rundown than changi airport and here in phoenix airport which is tons better! did NOT see any shops or restaurants, it was just terminals and more terminals..weather was rather chilly despite the sun.
current status: trying to while away our time in phoenix airport...may be suffering from jet lag cos it's already 3am here but it's 6pm singapore time..
ok till the next entry! (which will be when we safely reach grand canyon *prays REALLY hard*)
Sunday, May 4, 2008
reality sets in...america here we come!
oh my...only 12 hours left in singapore before we leave this home and travel halfway across the world to USA! despite being a lazy blogger, just felt that i had to post my last entry here in sg.
how do i feel? excited yet overcome by fear all at the same time..it's really a test of being independent over there. Understood the true meaning of what last minute arrangement is like and it's indeed nervewrecking! but all this will translate into greater rewards - working and travelling in US for a full 3 months. i've never left home for that long a period ever. simply can't wait to step onto US soil!
before i go off, wanna thank my grandma and atin for preparing the spicy sambal belachan and ikan bilis for me (in case i get really homesick and sick of western food), my mum for helping me with all the horrendous packing, my dad for renting car to drive me to the airport tmr, my bro for his constant chasing me away rantings, my relatives for their angbaos (godma, ee ee linda, gu gu sally, gu gu molly and dua ee), debbie for that wonderful treat at mof at bugis, sarah and family for the exotic japanese ala carte buffet (i love their chawamushi!), and friends for squeezing time out to meet up with me before i depart for the states..appreciate all these loads! =)
this marks an important point in life - the transition period from being a student to a full-time working adult. i'll treasure this precious period and enjoy myself in the process, while sitting back amongst the rocks in grand canyon and reflecting on my life...
till then, take care folks! you can contact me via skype, leave me offline msn messages, or email me! i'm gonna miss my hamsters...
how do i feel? excited yet overcome by fear all at the same time..it's really a test of being independent over there. Understood the true meaning of what last minute arrangement is like and it's indeed nervewrecking! but all this will translate into greater rewards - working and travelling in US for a full 3 months. i've never left home for that long a period ever. simply can't wait to step onto US soil!
before i go off, wanna thank my grandma and atin for preparing the spicy sambal belachan and ikan bilis for me (in case i get really homesick and sick of western food), my mum for helping me with all the horrendous packing, my dad for renting car to drive me to the airport tmr, my bro for his constant chasing me away rantings, my relatives for their angbaos (godma, ee ee linda, gu gu sally, gu gu molly and dua ee), debbie for that wonderful treat at mof at bugis, sarah and family for the exotic japanese ala carte buffet (i love their chawamushi!), and friends for squeezing time out to meet up with me before i depart for the states..appreciate all these loads! =)
this marks an important point in life - the transition period from being a student to a full-time working adult. i'll treasure this precious period and enjoy myself in the process, while sitting back amongst the rocks in grand canyon and reflecting on my life...
till then, take care folks! you can contact me via skype, leave me offline msn messages, or email me! i'm gonna miss my hamsters...
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