welcome home mama!

mama suffered a minor heart attack on monday morning, and i missed macro tut cos I had to stay in the hospital to check on mama's condition. it's indeed a waiting game over there. finally the cardio doctor told me she had to be admitted into the ccu - coronary care unit. turned out her major arteries are blocked at various parts of the arteries, which caused her lungs to be filled with fluid which led to chest pain and breathlessness. my heart ached (metaphorically and literally) when i saw that mama was unable to down her food and that she kept feeling nauseous from too much blood samples taken from her to test for diabetes. and i can tell u - hospital food is so unappetitising that i also wouldn't be able to down THAT kind of food.

this week has really been a blur..rushing about from the hospital, to school and back home. suddenly everything has been turned upside down. i actually lost track of time, thinking that the next day was wednesday instead of thurday. the useless me who never did much housework had to start washing clothes, hanging them, sweeping the floor etc. this is the result of the complacent me who has been relying too much on mama. now it's time to learn how to do all the housework and cooking, on top of taking care of mama. sleeping at the hospital beside mama was no comfort at all, especially if it meant sleeping on chairs and waking up every now and then to check on mama. but of course i did it willingly. food doesn't excite me any more, just lack of appetite to eat and forcing food down so that I've enough energy to take care of mama.

i'm glad she's back home recuperating. after cny she has an appointment with the surgeon who is holding a family conference to decide when to have the bypass surgery. i hope it'll be asap so that the risk of another heart attack will be lower. and i sincerely pray that the operation will be successful. i want her to be back to her happy healthy self, and back at cruise where she always camps at the casino.

all these had to happen near cny. first ah kong passed away on the 2nd day of last cny, and now mama's going through this. i seriously DO NOT like cny any longer... no mood to celebrate at all. forget the angbaos, forget the new year goodies, forget the visiting.